blast from the past


Okay, so I'm struggling to know what to write ... so I thought we'd do a funny memory from the past.

Well my junior year of college I was quite the heartbreaker (ha.). Wanna know why? I had utterly NO TIME for any guy -- which made me "mysterious"...and my blatant disregard for their intentions made me an even hotter commodity.

During the summer when I had a little more free time (only a little seeing as I worked 45+ hours and was taking 3 classes) ... one guy decided to try his luck.

He had an advantage. He was fun, he was cute, he was ambitious, but most of all -- he was witty, intelligent, and hysterical all at once. So I thought I'd give him a shot.

I turned up the charm, amped up my own wit, and twinged the sarcasm. We spent one evening chatting for a long time -- eventually making plans to go get food together the next day (the universal sign of date-ish interest, no?). Well, when I showed up the following day, there he was...complete with roommate in tow. And annoying, abrasive roommate, at that. (In his mind, I believe he thought this was a great idea.)

After lunch we went back to his apartment to hang out and presumably watch a movie. Well, we sat on opposite sides of the couch during the movie because, well, I chose to. As a result of my hectic schedule -- I fell asleep while watching the movie (a problem that continues into the present).

I woke up a little while later -- feeling like something was much different than how it was when I dozed off.
No, the furniture wasn't moved around. No, I hadn't been abducted and buried alive. And no, my shirt wasn't soaked in drool or anything like that.

As my mind became clearer I realized what had changed.
I was not alone on the couch. I was no longer upright on the couch. And someone was blowing in my ear. 
I quickly realized that this boy, while I was asleep, had somehow coerced my body into spooning with his ... and he had been running his hands through my hair and blowing in my ear.

Needless to say that afternoon was over.

Sadly, the stories involving this guy weren't over...including one time he told me he'd like me to be his
TROPHY WIFE
so that I could look pretty when he went to "important work events" and other "impressive goals for [his] life."
No. Joke.

I simply told him I was too smart, too funny, and too pretty to be a trophy wife.
And then I stopped answering his calls. 


Now it's your turn ... tell me about YOUR bad dates (or fake-dates).

xoxo.

p.s. ginny and tiff--you know him. ha.

7 comments

  1. Hahahahah. So so ridiculous!

    I went on a blind date with this guy who didn't talk. I'd ask him questions and get one word answers. As a result, I nervously chattered away to avoid an awkward silence. After dinner, I talked to the people mini golfing in front of us more than I talked to him. So brutal.I'm so glad I married a comedian who is not only funny, but has interesting things to contribute to any conversation.

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  2. Hahahahaha I absolutely love this.

    A compilation of my all-time favorite lines:
    "Having a relationship with you would be like adding a four credit class to my workload. And with my already busy schedule, frankly I don't have time for that." Direct quote.

    Boy: "So... what if I kissed you right now?"
    Girl: "I would not let you do that."
    Boy: "Really? No commitment, I swear."
    Girl: "No. I do not want to kiss you."
    20 minutes later...
    Boy: "So, was that a FIRM no?..."

    On Valentine's Day: "I wish I hadn't met you yet. I want to put you in a box and lock you up until I'm emotionally ready to start dating you."

    Also, I'm going to be staying in Oregon. For a long time. And my hubby and I are planning to come down to Eugene SOON. I would like your number so I can call you and plan to see you! (Sorry this is the longest comment ever)

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  3. Hahahahaha! Horrible! I have so many stories like that before Ben. Maybe I'll do a post like this. Oh, and I love your simple reply :)

    And I know him?? Interesting...

    xo

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  4. Oh my goodness, what the heck! I can't believe that guy!!! haha

    Okay so do I have a story... I had just moved to Utah, I was fresh meat, 18 years old working at a restaurant, several co-workers talked me into going on a date with one of the servers that seemed to have a crush on me. It took several months to me into it, we hadn't really talked, he wasn't very cute, but the night of the date he picked me at my apartment. I got in his car and we went out to a cheap restaurant, not impressed, but when we got back in his car he told me he had a surprise. He drove us to the Timp. Temple, then approaching the Temple in the car, he put his hand on my thigh.. not my leg, the creep and told me how wonderful it would be to marry me in this Temple... As if that's not bad enough he tells me when we're married and have our own house we'll have a hot tub, I totally thought I was going to get raped, the guy was a creep!!! He drove us to his apartment to meet his roommates, more creeps and we went through Mission pictures... He was 10 years older then me and was telling his roommates that we were a couple... I got my own ride home, avoided him and that was last time we talked!

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  5. This story makes me want to puke, and then burst into rapturous applause for YOU. "Needless to say that afternoon was over." Seriously, sometimes you gotta handle the business. You're my hero.

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  6. ew creepy!!! any guy that manipulates a sleepy girl or attempts to get fresh while she is sleeping should not be allowed within 10 ft of a woman. seriously!!!

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  7. Oh my gosh! Matt and I BOTH have extremely similar stories to yours! What is with the creeps at BYU!?!?!?

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