When I was in Kindergarten, I came home crying because someone didn't like me and I couldn't fathom that not everyone would want to be my friend.
In 3rd grade I learned to like snakes because Tim Schwartz liked snakes. And I liked Tim.
As a precocious 5th grader I told the boy I liked that I liked him...and watched as his face got all scrunched at the idea of a cootie-filled girl having the hots for him.
In 8th grade I learned to care deeply about someone ... and in 9th grade I watched as that boy destroyed his life and broke my heart in the process.
At age 16 I dreamed of the perfect date and of the perfect boy. My best friend and I watched movie after movie depicting the kind of love we only wished for.
Around 18 I met my first love, and often still think of the wonderful relationship and friendship we had.
By the time I turned 20 I'd been around the Provo dating block a few times and decided it wasn't worth the hassle for a while....and then I dated a guy who lived down the hall. Who is still a dork.
As 21 rolled around, I'd kissed my fair share of boys and was so ready to be finished dating after perpetually being deemed the best friend and never the girlfriend.
When 22 finally hit...I'd had the first real love. But that love changed and became something and someone I didn't know. That love broke my heart worse than it had ever been broken.
And now, at 22 and a half, my heart is hopeful, wanting something it hasn't wanted in a long time. Wanting my very own knight in shining, but not perfect, armor.
....And this is why I'm not allowed to watch sappy movies late at night.
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