Ever forward.

"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."

And with that, my longtime relationship was over.
It ended a while back, and you may not have even realized it (I didn't make it public on Facebook, and never mentioned it anywhere else), but since I've shared with you for years, I figured I'd share this, too.

I'm not going to explain the nitty gritty of it, not here.
You know where to find me for a one-on-one chat.

And I'm okay. I promise.
Ever forward.

 photo siovhan sig bq_zps7aby1c40.png

i'm loving...

I love makeup. I'm not particularly great at makeup, but I like it.
I like trying out new things, I like finding new products, I like making my skin feel better.

When I moved to Dallas I had a coworker who loved makeup, too.
She moved on to a different job -- and so now I'm sharing all my finds with you!

Bit by bit I've been trying to remove parabens and sulfates from a lot of my makeup.
I'm allergic to sulfur, so this one was a no brainer. And it's made a HUGE difference.

Here's what I'm loving right now...

makeup i love feb 2016

// 1 // This eyeshadow is MAGIC. I have the UD Naked palette and it's okay, but this thing is amazing. Every color is super wearable for everyday life. Even that hot pink ends up a soft pinkish nude on. The only one I have a hard time wearing is the deep blue. I've only worn it as eyeliner thus far.

// 2 // I'm a mascara addict. I love mascara. It's the one cosmetic I can't leave without. My short, stubby, blonde eyelashes need the help. And THIS does it. I've tried so many mascaras, all of them seem to have big flaws. One clumps, another leaves epic smudges, the third you can't wash off, the next is so brittle....you get the picture. So far, the only problem with this one is sometimes after a long day I have a little smudge. I have greasy eyes, so this is not a huge surprise. But it makes my eyelashes look SO full. Plus it's opthamologist approved, so it's safe for your eyes.

// 3 // I challenged myself to be a little more daring in 2016 and this includes lipstick. I got a sample of 5 colors of this lipstick in my Gwen Stefani palette, and it is so good. It's truly long-lasting. I wore mine all day, eating, drinking, chapsticking and never reapplying and I still had some color left at the end of the day. I immediately went and bought a tube. I like the 'Firebird' fuchsia color and the 'Spiderwebs' red is the best red lipstick I've found.

// 4 // This is what I wear most days. It's the best light pink color, and looks so natural. Plus it has a hint of mint in it...which is awesome. This shade is 'Smooth Talker.' (I always think of this when I buy it.) I've gifted it to several people because it's truly the best gloss I own.

// 5 // This is my favorite natural blush. It's paraben free, cruelty free, and so nice on your face. 'Glisten' looks good on just about everyone.

// 6 // This is a cult favorite and one of mine, too. I recently bought it after using up a whole Tarte blush. I really like this one, it always makes my face looked flush in the right shade. But, I may go back to the other when this one's done.

// 7 // Last, but definitely not least, my new favorite foundation. It's essentially a tinted moisturizer/BB cream, but it's got staying power like no other. My skin really did get better after I started using this. And it's cooling, so it feels great in the morning. The one weird thing is it starts to dry quickly when you begin spreading it -- make sure you cover your face before that happens.

I want to hear what you're loving!
Share your favorites with me, I always need new ideas!


we've got this

Tonight I did something strange.

Back in 2008 I signed up for an LDSJournal account, a way to have a real (private) journal (as well as a blog) because I struggled with handwriting one.

I signed up. I journaled a few times. And I promptly forgot about it entirely.

Fast forward to last month.
I got an email about LDSJournal and remembered I had an account.

I logged in, changed my password, and I left it alone.
Tonight -- I logged in again.
I wanted to see if I had any posts that should migrate somewhere else for safekeeping.

And there it was.
Waiting just for me.

I read and re-read the few posts I'd left -- detailing the beginning of a relationship with a boy I dated during college.
The 'relationship' was a mess.
And tonight, I relieved the beginning of it and, subsequently, the heartache because of it.
It made me sad.
I saw the promise, the excitement, the hope, which past me didn't know would end and current me usually can't remember because of the end.

But instead of wallowing, I felt gratitude.
I can't stop thinking about where I was then -- and where I am now.
All the many, many things that have changed.
How *I* have changed.

I love the optimism and hope of that me.
But I'm grateful for the wisdom and resilience of this me.

There are a few guys from college I sometimes wish I'd never dated.
And there are a few I really wish I had.
(Two, in particular.)
And while I sit and think, 'wouldn't life have been so much easier if I'd done x, y, or z?'
I'm glad I've already been through it.
Glad I am where I am.
Because I have a feeling, it's right where I'm supposed to be.

So past me, don't worry.
Don't try to get there too quick.
Don't force it.
Don't rush.
Just sit back, relax, and know we've got this.


Land of the Free, Because of the Brave.


At the close of this Memorial Day -- I'm thinking about this country that I love and the people who protect my freedom.

I'm thinking about the men and women who sign up -- knowing it's not easy, knowing it's scary, knowing they're putting their lives at risk, and knowing it's worth it because they love America.

I'm thinking about the women who let their husbands go off to war, or basic training, or another far-away duty, because they know what he is doing serves all of us. I'm thinking about the children who kneel to pray each night, hoping that their soldier mom, or sailor dad, or Marine uncle will return home to them safely.

I'm thinking about those whose hearts stop each time they hear a knock at the door -- wondering if today is the day.

I'm thinking about those who have live through that day. Who live every day missing someone, aching for someone, loving someone not by their side. Those who raise children, go on with their day to day lives, return to an empty bed each night -- because they shared the person they love with all of us.

Words could never express the gratitude I have in my heart for the members of our armed forces and their indomitable families and friends.

Thank you for your service. Thank you for the love you have for our country. Thank you for risking your life so that mine can be so wonderful.

Thank you.

“Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.”
                                                        -President Harry S. Truman


The One With the Bad Haircut

I have really thick hair. I mean insanely thick. And curly.
And I feel like Ron Swanson when I try to describe it to people...

I've never had a haircut where the stylist's first comment wasn't about either a) how thick it is, or b) how curly and thick it is.
This is what my hair looks like on a pretty normal hair day:

And this is what it looks like now:

After it was fixed.
And after I covered up the seriously whacked out back part.
Not so bad, just so not what I asked for.

She did do a bang up job on the color.

But my ponytail is about 1/3 of the size it normally is. And I have pieces in the back that are two inches long. TWO INCHES.


See ... I needed a trim. And I really wanted my highlights refreshed. It'd been more than 6 months since my last highlight (gasp! sorry, stylist friends). I researched salons and stylists for 3 weeks. I finally decided to try out a brand of salon I trust in a ritzy suburb here in Dallas.

And ... my hair was butchered. To the point where I cried after realizing what just happened. Even the stylist who fixed it was baffled. She looked at my mom with a wide-eyed shocked expression as she examined my hair. She did a good job fixing what she could (plus she knows about curly hair so I think I'll go back to her).

Yes, this is, admittedly, vain. But writing is also a means of catharsis for me, so this is helping me embrace my new-for-now look.

BUT on the upside I looked a bit like a short-haired (& blonde) Merida this morning when I woke up.


Curls er'rywhere.

Please, tell me I'm not the only one to suffer bad haircuts.